Thank you, AT&T - yes, the whole company, not just the two intrepid souls you dispatched to our porch this evening - for your gracious understanding while I evaluate your incredible product offers.
- Thank you for ringing our doorbell - conveniently located just beside the "No Soliciting" sign - and producing a cacophony of barking from the dog, causing Leslie and I to get up from the dinner table mid-bite - she to deal with the dog and I to address the front door.
- Thank you for the gracious offer of DSL service that, even at 8 Mbit, is only about two-thirds the speed of our cable connection. I was also quite shocked to hear how cable internet is "shared with my neighbors" while DSL is dedicated bandwidth. I certainly hope that doesn't mean my neighbor is going to hack my Wi-Fi or something.
- Thank you for the gracious offer of television service that is roughly equivalent to our existing cable package, except with a set-top box that has to stream and decode the television signal, resulting in slower DSL service and occasionally laggy television. Your DVR sounds quite intriguing, but I've already got a Media Center PC so I know all about that sort of stuff, and I can already record as many simultaneous shows as your DVR, including HD - which you didn't even mention. Oh, and I can copy recorded shows to another computer when my hard drive is full, so I'm not limited to 30 hours or whatever your box offers.
- Thanks as well for the offer of unlimited local and long distance telephone service. Besides our cell phones, our Vonage service gives us more minutes than we ever use in a month.
- Most of all, thank you for the offer of all of the above, bundled together for my convenience, for the low, low "introductory" price of just $15 more per month than I'm currently paying for the equivalent services. I'll be jumping right on that.
Not. 